How The Great Tsuruga Ren Fainted
by MagicAssassinDogDemon
Summary: "Yashiro-san… what on earth are you doing?" "SHH! You'll blow my cover! I've had it with those two! You either help me or stop hindering me. What'll it be, Kotonami-san?" "… I have a feeling I'm going to regret this…" in which Yashiro goes to the extremes, Kanae is rendered speechless, Kyoko is flustered and Ren faints in the hallway. ONE SINGLE CURSE WORD. [Oneshot]


**_Yeah.__ this random craziness is the result of my writing at 3am in the morning. i remember a fanmade comic that goes something like this (only the 2nd half of it tho). i still recall cause of what they made Yashiro say. needless to say, i laughed. idea credits go to whoever made the comic. and, err. the song lyrics were completely spontaneous, random and off-the-bat. don't try to make sense of it or find a beat cause there ain't one. _**

**_sometimes i just love Yashiro so much i don't know what to do with him xD_**

"Normal"

_'thoughts'_

**_WARNING! I DON'T OWN, POSSIBLE OOC, RANDOM CRAPPINESS AND ABSOLUTE CRACK. just for the laugh. _**

* * *

><p>"Yashiro-san… what on earth are you doing?"<p>

"SHH! You'll blow my cover! (what cover?) I've had it with those two! You either help me or stop hindering me. What'll it be, Kotonami-san?"

"… I have a feeling I'm going to regret this…"

…

…...

Okay. Hold the fuck up. I'm sure you're wondering what is happening here. But to put it simply, Yashiro is spying on our OTP like the crazy inner stalker-slash-fangirl we know he is and Kanae caught him and got caught up in his scheme. Let's back up to a few hours before this shall we?

_Approximately 2 hours ago…_

Kyoko had 'run into' Ren while she was on his way to the cafeteria for a simple lunch before heading to her next filming. Yashiro was… somewhere. The somewhat crowded cafeteria also made it hard to spot that certain someone that wasn't keen on being found (Yashiro made it a point to not be a third wheel whenever he 'felt' Kyoko about to appear).

"Ah! Tsuruga-san! Good afternoon!" Kyoko greeted and bowed when she came face to face with her senior.

"Mogami-san. Good afternoon. Going for lunch?" Ren greeted back with a sincere smile.

"Yes! I have a filming for Box-R later at 2." Kyoko answered chirpily before her face turned serious and she stared past his eyes and _straight into the depths of his very soul._ "Tsuruga-san… have you, by any chance, had a proper lunch yet?"

Ren gulped heavily as the colour drained from his face. He bought a packet of simple cheese sandwiches and a few onigiri just now and was about to leave. Just how was he going to get out of this? Answer, he wasn't.

"I knew it! Tsuruga-san! How many times do I have to tell you that it's important for you to eat something proper instead of store bought onigiri and sandwiches all the time?" She lectured, childishly pointing a finger at the plastic bag that was hanging innocently in his hand. Ren blanched at her 100% accurate guessing.

'_How on earth did she guess what's in the bag?!' _Ren internally screamed.

"…Tsuruga-san." Kyoko had noticed Ren wasn't listening and brought his attention back to earth.

"Y-yes, Mogami-san?" Ren stuttered. _'what the heck?! Did I just stutter?! Me of all people?!'_

"You're having lunch with me whether you like it or not." Ren didn't know whether to rejoice or cry.

* * *

><p>After a painful 1-and-a-half hours of lecturing, whining and random mayhem, Ren managed to escape from the fate he had suffered. As of now, Kyoko was trying to dissuade Ren from giving her a lift to her studio. It wasn't working very well since Ren had decided to launch his killer smile on Kyoko. Probably payback for forcing him to eat a portion of lunch twice his normal portion.<p>

They walked along the corridor, making small talk as Ren watched the love of his life light up with every word she said. Until she said something that gave him a bad feeling in the pit of his churning stomach.

"Eh? Tsuruga-san, where did Yashiro-san go?"

…

…...

Which leads us to Yashiro trying to act like a ninja and spying on them and failing miserably. Kanae was sighing in defeat at his antics.

"Yashiro-san… what are you planning on doing with that radio?"

"You shall see soon enough…" a sinister smile crept on his face and Kanae swore the area dropped a few degrees.

"What have I gotten myself into?" She muttered to herself.

"SHHH! They're coming!" with that, he pushed a CD into the radio and pressed the play button, turning the volume up very high. An upbeat tune began to play.

**'Ohhhhh… is there a feeling in you that you can't describe'**

**'Every time that she walks by?'**

**'People just get drawn in by her,'**

**'Are you sure you're okay with sharing?**

Initially, the tune was catchy, garnering both the stars' attention. It wasn't until a couple of moments later when the lyrics registered in Ren's head and he began getting influenced.

**'Why don't you go ahead and take her?'**

**'You know you want it, so just go ahead.'**

Those two sentences somehow really got to him, and he stiffened a bit, face beginning to turn red against his will. This, of course, didn't go unnoticed by the caring and simple minded (*cough*in denial*cough*) Kyoko. She panicked and just said whatever came to mind, making it worse for Ren, whose self control was just about to hit its limit.

"E-eh?! Tsuruga-san! Your face is red! Are you coming down with a fever?! Did you overwork yourself again?!"

"I-I'm fine, Mogami-san…"

"No you're not! Even your ears are turning red! Oh god let me check your temperature." And she tiptoed, reaching out before placing her hand on Ren's forehead. The moment her hand touched his forehead, a surge of electricity and happiness surged through Ren's mind. Then Kyoko up and decided to peer into his eyes with the utmost cuteness one will ever see.

And that, my friends, is how the great Tsuruga Ren fainted in the middle of one of LME's main corridors with a tomato red face.

**=Bow Wow Woof Bark=**

_With Yashiro and Kanae… (before Ren fainted)_

"…Subtle much?" Kanae eyed Yashiro, who held the radio up above his head.

"Screw subtlety. If this doesn't work, I'm renting a blimp."


End file.
